


solace in the thrum of your heart

by laidellennt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, and homesick, klance, lance is depressed, poor baby, supportive team, team is there to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9373601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laidellennt/pseuds/laidellennt
Summary: Lance cannot find solace in the stars.-Lance is homesick and isn't sure what to do about it.





	

the ghost of you  
is close to me  
-  
Lance cannot find solace in the stars.

He tries every night when he feels the familiar tug at his heart, leaning against the cool windows of the observatory deck and tired eyes reflecting back in the glass. He remembers doing this long before he entered the Garrison, sneaking outside of his home and staring up at the dark of the night sky wishing he was there weaving between the stars like he’d so often dreamed about until his mama yelled at him to come inside. Even when inside, bundled in his warm bed, he still gazed at the millions of white dots that scattered across his ceiling. 

You couldn’t pay 12 year old Lance to believe he’d soon be wishing to be back on Earth, wishing to be back in the ocean, giving noogies to his siblings, and getting yelled at by his mama. Yet, here he was, a paladin of Voltron and defender of the universe, wishing he was back home. Home. He wonders if his home- Earth- still exists. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been out here, floating in the endless stretch of space. He wondered what the Garrison told his family, if they miss him. He sure misses them.  


As he stares at the twinkling stars, he feels none of the hope, determination burn at his heart like it once did. He’s not 12 anymore, he reminds himself. The new scars he dons, the muscles pulled taut against his skin, and the tired bags his eyes carry are proof of this.

Lance sighs and closes his eyes, trying to imagine soft sand digging between his toes and blue water curling around his ankles. He imagines the blue sky, the bright sun smiling down with familiar warmth, faint wisps of clouds twirling and twisting an intricate dance routine like the ones his older sister used to perform for his family in the den. He imagines the weird feeling the rug in the hallway of his home used to give him whenever he walked over it, like the world was spinning beneath his feet. Imagines the taste of his abuelita’s flan that she would make whenever there was a special occasion, the apple scented candles his father lit all over the house, the smell of shampoo on the twins’ hair whenever they’d curl up in his bed during a thunder storm and the way the brown curls tickled his nose. He didn’t mind.

Lance’s heart hurts, and no matter how many times he’s sent to the healing pods battle after battle the throb never fades. He’d asked Coran the first time he found himself tossing in his bed, but the Altean sent only gave him a confused look. He ran a test anyway, and it was fine, Lance was fine, physically. He didn’t say anything after that, and Coran’s concerned glances eventually stopped.

Lance can’t find solace in Blue either, not anymore, and _God_ does it make him feel horrible. He loves Blue, he loves her so much. She’s a part of him, in a way. Guiding him through battles with comforting purrs stroking his mind when he finds himself shuddering in the cockpit after a particularly hard fight. He used to curl up at her paws when he couldn’t sleep, the blue metal surprisingly warm like a real lion. He’d fall asleep like that, and she’d chase his nightmares away and fill them with loving thoughts. Of Voltron. Of the castle. Of the Princess and Coran. Of the Paladins. His friends.

 _Your family._ Blue purrs to him one night.

Allura notices their growing bond eventually. “Amazing!” She’d praised, telling him that his bond with the lion was the strongest of any paladin she’d ever seen. 

Lance stayed up that night and wondered if that was a good thing.

He cries one night in Blue’s embrace, unsurprisingly. He cries harder than he’s ever had before. She panics, the comforting purrs in his head falter and stumble and he’s held in an overwhelming hug of pure comfort.  
He stops eventually. His hand lazily draws patters against her. “I don’t know,” he sniffles. “I don’t know.” Blue hums, as if to say _I get it._

The next day at breakfast Allura turns to him even before everyone has finished sitting down. “Lance, are you alright?” She says, bright blue eyes drilling a hole into his own.

He averts his eyes and spoons at his green space goo. “Yeah,” he says, but it’s not very convincing. So he turns back to her, and winks. “Don’t worry, Princess. I’m up for round-“ 

Keith kicks his shin and mumbles a “he’s fine” into his breakfast. Lance smiles, because he feels a little bit better when his with team Voltron. With his friends.

 _Family,_ Blue reminds him at the back of his head.

Somehow, Allura isn’t convinced. 

 

Lance breaks down when they’re all gathered in the longue. He knew it was coming, it was always there. Like a storm cloud. Not the good kind, that promised rain and snuggling, but the kind that loomed over his head and pounded on his heart.  
He didn’t sleep the night before, and he didn’t bother moisturizing. He didn’t care. Keith mentioned it at breakfast and Lance only sniffed, leaving Keith slightly disappointed (but mildly concerned.) He even let Pidge take him down during training, and it didn’t seem to bother his ego at all. So, he guesses the rest of the team knew it was coming too. 

He’s snuggled up against Hunk, face pressed into his soft shoulders and rising with his breathing. Pidge is in front of him, and he occasionally kicks her hair with his feet. The team is talking about Earth food, describing it’s textures and flavors to Allura and Coran. This time they’re talking about Chinese. Lance usually doesn’t mind, usually joins in, usually laughs and usually doesn’t feel like his heart isn’t about to tear open in his chest along with the dam in his eyes.  


This isn’t usual, and that much he’s figured out.

Hunk’s in the middle of explaining the shape of a Wonton when Lance whimpers. Hunk pauses and turns to the head that’s in his shoulder. Lance can hear his blood rush in his ears over the silence, and his hands start to shake and he holds onto his best friend.

“Lance?” Hunk asks, and shuffles to get a better look. The rest of the team turns to the shivering boy that holds Hunk in his death grip. 

Lance lets out another whimper, and it’s Allura that realizes what’s going on first. She feels Blue, the way she had that night before. She feels Blue, but not in the way that she’d feel the lions when they’re in battle. She feels Blue _worry,_ and it’s enough to make her understand why. She feels her heart swell along with Blue.

Pidge is standing up now, grabbing Lance’s trembling shoulders and revealing his tear-streaked face. His thin brows are knitted together and eyes screwed tight, a steady stream of tears down his reddened cheeks. The team collectively loose their breath for a moment, and they all have that same feeling of dread weighting in the stomach. 

“Oh, Lance...” Allura mutters, and the team rushes toward their fellow Paladin, synchronized like the lions of Voltron that they pilot. The lions that they are.

They huddle in a little circle, Hunk and Pidge with comforting, familiar hands resting on Lance, Keith twitching his gloved ones like he wants to as well, and the oldest members stand and watch as they watch Lance crumble in front of them.  
Hunk mutters comforting words, like _It’s okay Lance, we’re here Lance, I love you Lance, we all love you Lance, we’re here for you Lance,_ like a mantra until Lance hiccups a soft, “I want to go home.”

Everyone in the room feels their heart shatter, and they all join Hunk in his mantra and give a roar, like one they’ve done so many times in their lions and as Voltron. It’s hard, but it’s easy, because they’re Voltron. Fellow Paladins. Friends.

 

The team, including Blue, doesn’t let Lance go until he’s stopped shivering, and the tears on his face have fully evaporated. It takes hours. The team is okay with that. Lance is okay with that, too, even with all the apologies he mutters.  


At lunch he smiles again, and the room can feel a little spark in their heart. They smile back, and Lance is okay. Lance is fine. He’ll be even better, soon.

_Family._

Keith offers to train with Lance. “What, so I can beat you? You’re on, mullet head.” Lance fires, but with none of the venom it used to hold, and with all of the affection it has been. Keith smiles, and so does Lance. Lance smiles brighter than any star or laser or beam Keith’s ever seen, and Keith’s just glad it’s back.

They’re out of breath, gross and sweating on the floor of the training room, yet shoulder to shoulder and sitting in a comfortable silence where neither of them have to speak. 

Keith’s dark eyes catch Lance’s, and Lance feels his heart pick up. Not in the way it did before, an anxious, uneven thunder that made Lance’s throat constrict, but a soft pounce that made his face warm. Their hands find each other on their own accord. Lance can feel Blue's purr.

“I love you.”

And Lance knows where he can find his solace.

**Author's Note:**

> so! my first fic for voltron, and my first fic ever.
> 
> im sorry lance, i love lance a lot but i like seeing him homesick ahh. inspired by dodie clark's cover of goner by twenty one pilots. c:
> 
> sorry if it's kind of bad, i suck with the tenses of verbs and i used "comfort" like 80 times lol. i tried making emotions, but yeah they're hard to write heh. i tried to imagine how i feel when im away from home more than a day (sheesh, i know.) i can't imagine how poor lance feel. i love him. 
> 
> also,, just had to include that klance. no reason. other than i love klance. (im a mess.)
> 
> i wrote the first three paragraphs in november, to a different song, and then sat down before piano practice and wrote the rest in 30 minutes. so, if there's any noticeable changes...there's that.
> 
> hope you enjoyed anyway! thanks for reading! <3


End file.
